Year of Multiple Losses

This year has certainly been full of many losses, ranging in both severity and duration.

In early May, my mother passed away. She had experienced multiple health challenges in a short period of time. I’m relieved that her suffering has ended, but it’s never easy to lose your very best friend in the world. I still find it difficult to believe that she is really gone.

Earlier this year, I lost my social security disability benefits, due to having earned more than the Substantial Gainful Amount permitted. This was after having been awarded full disability benefits in 2016. I doubt that I would ever be successful in having my benefits reinstated at this point, even though I have only returned to working on a part-time basis.

I’ve just had a total laparoscopic hysterectomy. This, too, is a loss of sorts. Symbolically, it’s the end of a very distinct phase in my life as a woman. However, I view this surgery more as one that will produce a deep sense of relief, as opposed to loss.

Secondary to the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve lost my normally carefree routine of how I see residents in nursing homes. Now, I need to be screened each time that I arrive at the nursing home, have my temperature checked, and wear a mask. This has been very difficult, since wearing a mask always makes me feel much hotter; my heat-sensitive MS symptoms consequently flare up as a result of having to wear a mask.

It takes time to mourn each of the losses that we encounter throughout our lives. Grieving a loss is very painful. You have to go through the loss, rather than around it, in order to grieve in a healthy manner.

This, too, shall pass.

2 thoughts on “Year of Multiple Losses”

  1. Bonnie, sometimes it all just comes in a cluster. 2020 is like that for many but your losses are your own and you have to face them in your own way. I wish you all the support you need and doing the best you can as we “live our lives of ease..” Love.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s