This year has certainly been full of many losses, ranging in both severity and duration.
In early May, my mother passed away. She had experienced multiple health challenges in a short period of time. I’m relieved that her suffering has ended, but it’s never easy to lose your very best friend in the world. I still find it difficult to believe that she is really gone.
Earlier this year, I lost my social security disability benefits, due to having earned more than the Substantial Gainful Amount permitted. This was after having been awarded full disability benefits in 2016. I doubt that I would ever be successful in having my benefits reinstated at this point, even though I have only returned to working on a part-time basis.
I’ve just had a total laparoscopic hysterectomy. This, too, is a loss of sorts. Symbolically, it’s the end of a very distinct phase in my life as a woman. However, I view this surgery more as one that will produce a deep sense of relief, as opposed to loss.
Secondary to the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve lost my normally carefree routine of how I see residents in nursing homes. Now, I need to be screened each time that I arrive at the nursing home, have my temperature checked, and wear a mask. This has been very difficult, since wearing a mask always makes me feel much hotter; my heat-sensitive MS symptoms consequently flare up as a result of having to wear a mask.
It takes time to mourn each of the losses that we encounter throughout our lives. Grieving a loss is very painful. You have to go through the loss, rather than around it, in order to grieve in a healthy manner.
This, too, shall pass.