What to Focus Upon

Today, I finally received the results from my recent MRI exam. Reading them was most sobering, to say the least.

Everything, after all, really comes down to what we choose to focus upon. In reading my results, I was deeply saddened to see the extent of MS lesioning that I currently have developed.

This isn’t so very surprising, given that I have had MS for so very many years at this point. Nevertheless, I feel extremely disheartened today.

Reading that I now have developed lesioning in my brainstem, as well as my cerebellum, was especially difficult to learn. Nevertheless, it certainly explains my intermittent periods of ataxia.

I deeply value my intellectual capabilities. Knowing that decades of having MS has impacted these abilities is utterly devastating, simply put.

However, I choose to focus upon the more positive aspects of this most recent imaging report. Thankfully, I have not developed any new MS lesions since my last MRI, which was approximately two years ago.

In addition, there were no enhanced lesions, with reception of gadolinium contrast. This means that I don’t currently have evidence of experiencing an MS exacerbation.

Although none of us has control over what may happen to us, we definitely retain the ability to choose how to respond to what has taken place.

In the midst of deep loss, I choose gratitude. In the context of managing a progressive neurological disorder, I choose to focus upon what is left, rather than what has been irrevocably lost.

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