Feeling Very Down

It’s not always easy to admit that you struggle with feeling depressed. I have previously been reluctant to disclose my personal struggles with depression.

Having obtained a doctorate in Clinical Health Psychology doesn’t necessarily make it any easier to do so. In fact, I believe that it creates some unique barriers for disclosure of such increased depressive symptoms.

People don’t often feel terribly comfortable with thinking that the “helper,” in fact, needs “help.” I strongly believe that I struggle with depression because I have MS. Depression is a primary symptom of this chronic, progressive neurological disorder, as well as a reaction to having this diagnosis.

I’ve had MS relapses where my primary symptom was blurred vision. Other exacerbations have been characterized by severe vertigo. I feel like I am currently experiencing a relapse that primarily involves increased symptoms of depression, as well as fatigue.

Just like I was unable to eradicate my blurred vision, or my vertigo, I feel very helpless about alleviating these increased symptoms of depression. Yes, I’m a licensed clinical psychologist. Yes, I happen to teach Abnormal Psychology at a local university.

Today, I wish that the sun would simply shine, both literally and figuratively. It’s been way too dark, for far too many days in a row.

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