I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting MS in 1993. Receiving this diagnosis had a profound impact upon my self-esteem, as well as my overall level of confidence. I no longer could trust my very own body. Essentially, it had betrayed me.
My body literally began to attack itself, as though it were an aggressive, foreign invader that needed to eliminate an extremely hostile enemy. Talk about being your own worst enemy, right?
The entire experience of receiving this diagnosis was deeply unsettling. I desperately needed a way to express my distressing thoughts and upsetting emotions. So, I turned to writing poetry.
I’ve always had a very deep appreciation for language. Words are thought-provoking, extremely powerful , and deeply inspirational.
I started to write poetry while still in high school, in fact. Twenty-five years after my MS diagnosis, I’m so very thankful to have written those poems so soon after I found out that I had this chronic disease.
These poems were raw, unfiltered, and painfully honest. Reading those poems now brings tears to my eyes for what my younger self was facing at the time. It makes me extremely grateful that she didn’t fully realize all that would be ahead of her, too. I want to give that young woman a long, deep, and reassuring hug. I want to let her know that she’ll be alright, even though her life will bare minimal resemblance to what she had originally envisioned for her future.